Mini script writing competition for fun

**deanl** · March 19th, 2004, 09:13 AM

Hey there.

"I think one's you've entered you cant alter it anymore. That sounds fair, right? At least for the comp that is."

Well I guess I'm gonna have to step out of it.

I like to get feedback on my scripts at all stages of writing. And this is one of many places I get it. If doing so counts me out... Then fair enough I guess.

"Edit: read it now. you began with a very strong dialog, but it started slacking after the first dissolve until it almost became boring. The ending would've been better if I cared a bit more about them, but now all they seemed to do was whine against each other."

Lot's of valid points. I agree with you on most.

"Also, someone IS 18 or he is not, but not 'somewhere around 18'."

I disagree.

"You're the one who knows their age."

Not necessarily. And even if I did the audience don't. I'm not going to be there to tell everyone their exact age when they watch it. I think saying someone is about 18 is a fine way of describing their age.

Anyway. This for a quick first draft just a couple of hours old. I'll be posting later drafts.

Despin out.

**emjen** · March 19th, 2004, 11:29 AM

yeah but what you're doing now is actually just posting your first draft so that you don't have to critizise your own work. You're giving your work in our own hands, so to speak. Perhaps not on purpose, but I've busted myself on doing the same thing. Just get the first draft out and show it to others, whilst you are the one who knows what's wrong with the screenplay. We are merely 'reconfirming' things you already know. I've seen it with myself. It's just a sign of lazyness really. I'm not accusing you of being lazy or anything, it's just a point I'm making.

And I said that thing about the competetion because its a competition. You don't deliver a first draft to a real competition for feedback so you can give a better one a week later, do you? I don't really care, but it's just fair IMO. And a good excercice to be the own judge of your work.

Oh and that age thing, I know its not really necessary for the reader to know the exact age, but if a writer doesnt even have a clear idea of who he's writing about then what is the earth coming to! You are writing about THAT person for a specific chosen reason. You don't have to do it with every person, but I think with protagonists and the like it's important. It's something I learned in a course.

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ March 19, 2004 07:32 AM: Message edited by: emjen ]</font>

**cash** · March 21st, 2004, 04:55 AM

hey, my latest film that i am writting is about suicide here at - http://www.cash-productions.com/death/deathindex.htm i'll try and get it done for april

**emjen** · April 6th, 2004, 10:30 AM

Right. Submitted my thing. Now I wait until the 30th of april for comments or what?

And are the autors of the screenplays known or unknown when the comp starts? Might be good to have everyone vote for the screenplay instead of the person?

**Kev Owens** · April 6th, 2004, 10:34 AM

Right. Submitted my thing. Now I wait until the 30th of april for comments or what?

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yes. They'll all be posted after the 30th.

And are the autors of the screenplays known or unknown when the comp starts? Might be good to have everyone vote for the screenplay instead of the person?

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">They will be known- don't really see what difference it will make to have anonymous writers.